Showing posts with label hysterical. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hysterical. Show all posts
Friday, May 28, 2010
Of All the Things We Do to Our Children...
From the early days of purchasing a home pregnancy test kit to watching the tell-tale lines appear – you immediately fall into a psychological netherworld filled with frequent bouts of hysteria and paranoia. Granted, there are the many tender moments of bliss but even when those angelic babes sleep – your mind will drift towards the macabre. It is as if you are always wondering when the other shoe will drop.
You worry about them being smothered by their personalized lambie blankets. Or that an unsliced grape is an unavoidable choking hazard. A flight of stairs might as well be engulfed with flames. Scissors become as dangerous as a loaded gun. And don’t even get me started on the toxic germs from those freaks who insist on kissing your baby’s face! Seriously, there is essentially nothing that you don’t fear. And you even begin fearing fear by worrying too much sheltering will turn them into a different sort of monster.
So… Overtime you realize you have to be vigilant and find a balance. For the most part, I try to accept the things that I can’t control, silence my nervous nellies, and pack enough Purell in my pockets to overcompensate for my endless need to protect.
However, some other parents seem to have a different approach…
Unbelievable. Unfathomable.
Why did Mohammad Rizal feel the need to give his eighteen-month-old son Sumatran Ardi Rizal a cigarette? Was boredom really his motivation? Because toddlers are pretty entertaining enough without having to subject themselves to cancer.
But perhaps it is unfair for me to assume that everyone around the world has access to understand the true dangers of addiction and smoking. So okay, let’s forget the emphysema, voice box, and drug habit bit – what crazy parent gives their toddler a burning stick !?!
But seriously, what do I know? I am just another paranoid mother trying not to let her kids play with a bag of glass…
You worry about them being smothered by their personalized lambie blankets. Or that an unsliced grape is an unavoidable choking hazard. A flight of stairs might as well be engulfed with flames. Scissors become as dangerous as a loaded gun. And don’t even get me started on the toxic germs from those freaks who insist on kissing your baby’s face! Seriously, there is essentially nothing that you don’t fear. And you even begin fearing fear by worrying too much sheltering will turn them into a different sort of monster.
So… Overtime you realize you have to be vigilant and find a balance. For the most part, I try to accept the things that I can’t control, silence my nervous nellies, and pack enough Purell in my pockets to overcompensate for my endless need to protect.
However, some other parents seem to have a different approach…
Unbelievable. Unfathomable.
Why did Mohammad Rizal feel the need to give his eighteen-month-old son Sumatran Ardi Rizal a cigarette? Was boredom really his motivation? Because toddlers are pretty entertaining enough without having to subject themselves to cancer.
But perhaps it is unfair for me to assume that everyone around the world has access to understand the true dangers of addiction and smoking. So okay, let’s forget the emphysema, voice box, and drug habit bit – what crazy parent gives their toddler a burning stick !?!
But seriously, what do I know? I am just another paranoid mother trying not to let her kids play with a bag of glass…
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Ghetto Fabulous
I would like to avoid filling this blog with overtired and hysterical rants. However, the occasional good ol' fashioned ribbing at needless products seems to be a personal guilty pleasure both to write and read... Forgive my petty weaknesses (and please skip ahead to the next post), if you don't agree.
Today, I went to pick up some baby powder and found a brand new limited edition item on the shelves. (Drum roll please...)
Parenthood is indeed filled with many moments of irrational consumerism but even I find these absurd. And then there's the ad campaign. And no this is not a SNL skit...
Call me crazy but on even the hottest days, my boys wear pants. That's right - pants. A whole article of clothing over their diapers or underwear.
Seriously, who is buying these? What parent is thrilled to see jean diapers and rejoicing that their little ones can start dressing like a pantless Lady Gaga?
A dose of reality...
Today, I went to pick up some baby powder and found a brand new limited edition item on the shelves. (Drum roll please...)
Huggies Supreme Little Movers Jean Diapers !!!
Parenthood is indeed filled with many moments of irrational consumerism but even I find these absurd. And then there's the ad campaign. And no this is not a SNL skit...
Call me crazy but on even the hottest days, my boys wear pants. That's right - pants. A whole article of clothing over their diapers or underwear.
Seriously, who is buying these? What parent is thrilled to see jean diapers and rejoicing that their little ones can start dressing like a pantless Lady Gaga?
A dose of reality...
- Diapers leak.
- The dye on diapers tend to rub off on clothing when wet.
Let's say I become a "liberated" mama and have the boys go about their day sans pants - it would just be a matter of time for those blue overdyed "jeans" to stain my Maurice Villency couch. And if I had to choose between the boys or my buttery leather sectional... Well, maybe somethings are better left unsaid.
Related News:
NYT: Both Style and Substance in Diaper Advertising
Labels:
baby,
consumerism,
diapers,
hysterical,
mama,
parenthood,
rant
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